Two simple words and it's over. Our request was denied, but we were allowed to plead our case and we were heard. My son was heard, I was heard and the judges comments were respectable and courteous to both my son and our family. His point... we made a deal, honor it. It's almost over and at the end of this sentence there's no doubt in any ones mind (the judge included) that Eric will overcome and succeed because of what he's been through and learned over the years.
I'm saddened and my heart goes out to Eric as he makes the trip back to the jail cell once again to finish his sentence. I know he's greatly disappointed as are we. I hold fast to the knowledge that everything... yes everything in this life is temporary. There is an end to all bad things. We just have to find a way to endure it. Christ helps so much. It's his love when were hurting that gets us through. It's his commitment to never leave us or forsake us, that gives us strength when we need it most.
I must and will accept the fact that God's timing is always perfect and he knows what's best for everyone in these circumstances. I don't have to understand it... I just need to know it's going to be ok; and it is.
Thank you all for your prayers, and don't forget to continue praying for Eric and our family as we continue to live and long for the day we can celebrate his release together at home. The last six months will be the long ones as we count down the days. May God keep Eric safe and may Eric not lose faith. This set back will be a time of reflection and disappointment for him. My prayer is that he remains faithful to the Lord and doesn't feel that God has left or abandoned him. Thanks again for your prayers out there. We need them.
Your brother in Christ,
Steve
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
You of Little Faith
This post is for me! As I sit here this late hour of the night, sleep escapes me. I worry about our court date on Wednesday. Yes, I said worry. I know what the bible says about worry, it can't help me. Yet I do it. I'm reminded of Paul when he says he does the things he doesn't want to do but doesn't do the things he wants to do. In other words, he knows better, but he struggles with it anyway. It's the same with me. I know better, but here I sit.
Racing through my mind all the scenarios that can happen Wednesday and all of them not good. My faith that God will answer our prayers is minimal, so I know in some ways I'm hurting our chances. My son, his faith is renewed. As I spoke with him this evening I was encouraged with his attitude and hope in what God can do for him. He believes that God will answer his prayer, and that he will get out of jail early. Our attorney says his chances of early release rides on the opportunity we have to present his request and my testimony before the judge. I'm nervous, I know we have a 50/50 chance of even being heard. And if granted an opportunity to speak on behalf of my son, I'll have very little time and I'll have to be quick. The truth is... the decision to release early will not be given because of my testimony or the words from the attorney that pleads his case. The decision to release early will only come from a judge that has has his heart softened by the power of God. Plain and simple... this will only happen if it's God's will for Eric. I know God can do it. But will he? Am I afraid to ask because of the many times in the past that I've been disappointed that my prayers were not answered? Maybe so. But I know better. I feel like this is test of my perseverance, I truly feel like I'm being tested. I sense that Jesus is asking me... "Why do you doubt, oh you of little faith?"
Matthew 6:30
If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
Matthew 8:26
He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
Matthew 14:31
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
Matthew 16:8
Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, "You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread?
Matthew 17:20
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
My son tells me that if you ask anything in the name of Jesus, it will be given unto you. My intellect tells me that my request needs to be the right kind of request. I mean I can't just simply ask for God to release my son can I? That would be greedy on my part, only seeking to serve my wants and desires, wouldn't it? Or could this verse really mean that God will give me what I ask for, if I truly believe that God will and can do it. I'm scared... because I believe that God can do it, but I don't believe he will. I hate myself for this struggle within me, and I don't understand why it's happening. I thought my faith was stronger than this.
I end this post to fall on my knees in prayer asking for God to forgive me for my little faith and lack of trust. Lord forgive me! I also ask, in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior, to soften the heart of the judge that hears our case, and please Lord, please allow our son to come home. I leave this in your hands and may Your will be done. No matter what happens Lord, I commit to always love you, to always sing your praises, to worship you. I love you Lord Jesus. Amen.
Racing through my mind all the scenarios that can happen Wednesday and all of them not good. My faith that God will answer our prayers is minimal, so I know in some ways I'm hurting our chances. My son, his faith is renewed. As I spoke with him this evening I was encouraged with his attitude and hope in what God can do for him. He believes that God will answer his prayer, and that he will get out of jail early. Our attorney says his chances of early release rides on the opportunity we have to present his request and my testimony before the judge. I'm nervous, I know we have a 50/50 chance of even being heard. And if granted an opportunity to speak on behalf of my son, I'll have very little time and I'll have to be quick. The truth is... the decision to release early will not be given because of my testimony or the words from the attorney that pleads his case. The decision to release early will only come from a judge that has has his heart softened by the power of God. Plain and simple... this will only happen if it's God's will for Eric. I know God can do it. But will he? Am I afraid to ask because of the many times in the past that I've been disappointed that my prayers were not answered? Maybe so. But I know better. I feel like this is test of my perseverance, I truly feel like I'm being tested. I sense that Jesus is asking me... "Why do you doubt, oh you of little faith?"
Matthew 6:30
If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
Matthew 8:26
He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
Matthew 14:31
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
Matthew 16:8
Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, "You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread?
Matthew 17:20
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
My son tells me that if you ask anything in the name of Jesus, it will be given unto you. My intellect tells me that my request needs to be the right kind of request. I mean I can't just simply ask for God to release my son can I? That would be greedy on my part, only seeking to serve my wants and desires, wouldn't it? Or could this verse really mean that God will give me what I ask for, if I truly believe that God will and can do it. I'm scared... because I believe that God can do it, but I don't believe he will. I hate myself for this struggle within me, and I don't understand why it's happening. I thought my faith was stronger than this.
I end this post to fall on my knees in prayer asking for God to forgive me for my little faith and lack of trust. Lord forgive me! I also ask, in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior, to soften the heart of the judge that hears our case, and please Lord, please allow our son to come home. I leave this in your hands and may Your will be done. No matter what happens Lord, I commit to always love you, to always sing your praises, to worship you. I love you Lord Jesus. Amen.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Pray for us
Next week on Wednesday, March 26th, my son Eric will be going before the judge asking for early release. His official date to get out is Mid Sept. He's been in the local jail now for two and a half years. The story is too long to go into and quite personal as well, so I won't share it with you. But I'm writing this request for prayer not knowing what to say or really even ask for? How can I ask anyone to pray for this situation when you really know nothing that's going on? All I know is this... God hears our prayers and I believe with all my heart He answers our prayers. I understand and know that God answers prayers according to our needs and what He knows is best for us. I also know sometimes that what I want, is not what God would request sometimes. But my heart is breaking for my son and I know the hope, the intense desire that he has to get out of that place. Pray however you will... please just pray for us. Please... Thank you.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
We've moved!
I'm so sorry I haven't written lately. With the relocation and getting back to work and all, I've had very little time for anything other than the move, packing and unpacking and work. This week we finally got TV, Internet, and phones hooked up. Slowly but surely we're unpacking and making our new house feel like a home.
About the only thing that has remained the same is the Lord. Everything else is different! New work, new home, new neighbors, new town, new community, new friends, everything is new and different. We really like the new house, but miss the old one at the same time. Our boys grew up in our other home. Lot's of fond memories there in McMinnville and in our old neighborhood. And just as I reflect back on what we've left, I'm excited about what's ahead.
Routines have been disrupted, and so has my quite time and my writing. Pray for me as I seek to get back on track and get back into my much needed daily routines. My wife and I have been very sick as we moved and we're still fighting bronchitis and terrible head colds. That on top of all the stress of moving has both of us pretty worn out. I know things will settle soon.
Hopefully this weekend I'll be able to find some time to write, until then... may God bless you.
Steve
About the only thing that has remained the same is the Lord. Everything else is different! New work, new home, new neighbors, new town, new community, new friends, everything is new and different. We really like the new house, but miss the old one at the same time. Our boys grew up in our other home. Lot's of fond memories there in McMinnville and in our old neighborhood. And just as I reflect back on what we've left, I'm excited about what's ahead.
Routines have been disrupted, and so has my quite time and my writing. Pray for me as I seek to get back on track and get back into my much needed daily routines. My wife and I have been very sick as we moved and we're still fighting bronchitis and terrible head colds. That on top of all the stress of moving has both of us pretty worn out. I know things will settle soon.
Hopefully this weekend I'll be able to find some time to write, until then... may God bless you.
Steve
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