I find myself frustrated with my inability to make the time I know I need, spending time alone with the Lord. As I'm sure you are as well, I'm just so busy. I know this is an excuse and that frustrates me even more. I want to live a more Godly life, yet I don't spend the time I need in bible study or prayer? How can I ever expect to grow and become more fruitful if I'm not attached to the vine? Well I can't.
So then I say things to myself like, "It's my desire to study more and pray more." But the truth be known... if it truly was my desire I would find a way to make this a priority. Again I'm frustrated with myself.
Have you ever looked at yourself and wondered what happened? I remember when I was on fire for the Lord, now it seems that it's all I can do to find the joy in my service that I once had. Do I blame it on my recent move to a new city. Let's see what excuses I can conjure up for that one. Should I blame it on my new job and all the new things that come with that. I suppose I could list several disruptions to my normal routine there as well. Maybe I can blame it on my circumstances, my son's in jail, things aren't going as I had planned in my life or the life of my children... maybe all this has taken my focus off my spiritual walk?
No, it's none of those things. All those things are what happens in life and what I'm describing is how we react to what happens in life. The real problem is as simple as this... I need to STOP EVERYTHING! I need to re-prioritize. Rather than focus on my works, I need to focus on God's word. Rather than focus on what I'm putting out, I need to focus on what I'm putting in! The shift for me lately has been real. I realize that less time alone with God, makes for less time... PERIOD. In my life I just can't get it all done without the Lord guiding and directing me. I make too many wrong turns throughout the day that cost me precious time. I don't see the way clearly like I used to when my focus was on God's word and allowing him to do the seeing and me to do the following. I used to handle things better as life's unexpected opportunities would pop up every day.
The bible for the Christian is our FOOD. Without food we become weak and disoriented making poor judgement decisions as we become weaker and weaker. How can any Christian not see this? We all know it, yet when our lives become faster paced and more hectic... what do we do? We cut back on out time alone with our Lord and Savior. We should be doing the opposite! As I think about it I realize I haven't eaten for days... No wonder I'm so weak. It's time to STOP EVERYTHING, and make my main priority that of eating, being spiritually fed so that I can know what to do, when to do it, and be able to live the life that God wants me to live in today's world.
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for losing sight of You. Thank you that you never leave or forsake me, even when I lose focus. I love you Lord and I do want to be revived again and I know that through the reading and meditation of your word you will give me strength and peace and the courage to tackle the days ahead. Thanks you for your love. It's in Jesus name I pray. Amen.
Tommorw morning... I'll begin my day with time alone with my Lord and Savior. I already feel better about tomorrow.
Your brother in Christ.