Monday, September 1, 2008

One More Week

Two and a half years later... I'm able to say, "One more week." That's how long it's been since Eric, my son, has been locked up in jail. This Friday will be our last trip to visit Eric in the jail house, our last trip to visit by phone while looking through a TV monitor that separates us from each other. This will be the last week that I won't be able hold or hug my son. This is the last week that Eric will go without holding his daughter. He's watched her grow from an infant to a 19 month toddler all through a TV monitor for an hour or so once each week, no more days of not being able to hold or hug her. His last week without holding his sweetheart, Marcie, and being able to tell her he loves her in person rather than over the phone. Yes, only one more week.

Eric gets out on Monday the 8th of September and of all days... I have to fly to Dallas TX that morning on a business trip so I will not get to see him till I get back Wednesday the 10th. I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself because I was thinking about all the things I was going to miss on the day he gets out. I won't get to hug him or kiss him like his mom and the others will. I won't get to watch him unite with his daughter that he hasn't held since her birth. I won't get to see the relationship build as Halle (his daughter) begins to warm up to her Dad as they get acquainted with each other. I'll miss the expressions on his face when he sits on a soft couch for a change or gets to sleep with a pillow under his head. I'll miss watching as he enjoys eating real food again. I'll miss seiing the joy on his face as he enjoys the things that we all take for granted each day. I think it will be the simple things that he'll enjoy most... like hot coffee, or ice in his water glass. Wearing something other than strips, a hair cut, being able to turn off the lights at night when he goes to sleep, peace and quite for a change, freedom to move around, being able to use the toilet without everyone in the room watching, laying his head on a pillow, listening to music again and watching TV which he hasn't been able to do since being locked up, reading a news paper and hearing the news (time's passed him by the last few years) he's got a lot of catching up to do. Yes all these thing I'll miss the first few days he's out, but as I think about it... I'm so blessed, because I think of all the "first things" that Eric has missed and my first "missed things" pale in comparison to what Eric has missed over the last two and half years. It's pretty selfish of me to be feeling this way isn't it? If he can do it... I can do it! and I wrote all this to make this point...

We can endure anything with the Lord's help. I'm so thankful that everything we experience... even death, is temporary and it all get better one day if we know Jesus as our Lord and Savior. Two and half years ago I could not imagine this day coming. It was too far off in the future. To me it seemed as if it were an eternity away. But God new this day was coming and He saw that we would make it and that it would be good. He saw the lessons we would learn over the years and He saw this day and this week and He knew we would be here. It gives me great comfort to know that He sees us even two and half more years from now. I wonder where we'll be then? I have no idea, but this I do know. God will be there with us and whatever we experience God will be comforting us in that moment. Imagine 20 years from now, what will I be facing? What will I have been through? What great wonderful experiences will I have been blessed with and what tragic, sad and sorrowful experiences will I have gone through? Will I even be alive in 20 years? You know... I think many of us worry about what the future holds and God simply wants us to know that whatever we go through... it's only temporary and He will always be there with us. It may not have happened like we had hoped or dreamed it would, but in the end, all is good because we're with God. Romans 8:28

1 comment:

Rissa Mendes said...

Praying for you and your family as you all prepare for Eric's return home.. Praying for a safe trip for you too.. GOD BLESS!!